More spin on spinning today! Got a little dreidel? Did you make it out of clay, when you were like, four, and you mom saved it all these years?
Rollergirl and SMN religion writer Dana Clark Felty is looking for photos of dreidels that have special meaning to Savannah families.
She’ll need a photo, the owner’s name and a brief description of the dreidel’s significance emailed to dana.felty [AT] savannahnow [dot] com no later than Wednesday, Dec. 17.
Wanna make this year’s dreidel games a little more interesting (without adding vodka?*)
Don your Poker Yarmulke and bet some gelt for some No Limit Texas Dreidel!
The objective is for each player to create the best dreidel “hand” by combining dreidel spins. You will combine dreidel “spins” in your shaker, which only you will see, with other Community Spins, which will be seen by all players. The game is an entertaining adult party game and is family fun for everyone ages 9 to 99.
Do you think any parents would object if I taught the Shalom School kindergarteners how to put on a good poker face while bluffing for Skittles?
*Recipe for “Yenta’s Spinning Dreidels”:
In a cocktail shaker, combine the following with ice:
4 oz. premium vodka
4 oz. Blue Curacao liqueur
2 oz. lime juice
Shake and serve in chilled martini glasses – though when the Nun and Shin start to meld into one, you’ve had enough.
I got a voicemail early this week from one of my favorite L.A.ians, Rachel Leah Cohen who besides being a hawt talent of her own right, is also the personal assistant of the Yenta’s favorite silver fox, Craig Taubman.
Apparently the two of them were sitting around Craig N Co headquarters (which I still imagine resembles the Bat Cave, except with crazy amounts of instruments and mezzuzot on the stalagtites) wondering why the Yenta has not yet reviewed the advance copy they send out ages ago of their superJewtastic musical extravaganza Lights:Celebrate Hanukkah Live in Concert airing all month long on PBS affiliates around the country.
The special brings together every rockin’ name in Jewish music today, some of whom I got rub shoulders (and knock back scotch) with at last year’s Hallelu concert in Atlanta: Awesome chazzan Alberto Mizrahi, Brat Packer-turned-Jewish cowgirl Mare Winningham, electricfied madman Josh Nelson (not to be confused with kosher gospel sensation Joshua Nelson, who’s also on the vid) as well as Rosh Hashanah Girl Michelle Citrin, supersaxy-man Dave Koz, and of course, the Fox Himself. That is one good-looking, fantastic-sounding group of yids, yo.
Rachel, though not a Jewish mother yet, is still quite adept with the guilt, managing to tug my heartstrings from 3000 miles away: “Yenta, we need you to get the word out so people will watch this show! You’re on our A-List! Where is the Yenta when we need her?”
I am not on many people’s A-Lists, and I really would like to preserve my good standing with Craig N Co, if only to keep getting free CDs to review, so even though I have not been able to watch the DVD in its entirety (for many reasons, including having to spend extra time on my own Chanukah program to educate both children’s classmates on why Santa doesn’t like Jewish kids and because El Yenta Man keeps hogging our only tv to watch Christmas specials from the 70s) I am going to go ahead and officially say that it kicks ass and you should watch it!
If you live in Georgia, GPB will air it two weeks from tonight at 7pm (a bit unkosher of the stationheads, I know, but I think Hashem will understand if you flick on the tube after lighting Shabbat candles to celebrate the season with the family?) and again on Monday, 12/22 at midnight (because PBS knows all Jews are insomniacs.) The rest of y’all can check here to find your local listings.
If you can’t find it, please contact your local PBS affiliate and kvetch. And email Craig N Co and tell them their favorite A-Lister Yenta thinks you should get a small discount when the DVD is released.
The image of Jack Black as a shrimp-scarfing Jesus has had me giggling all morning. God bless Hollywood.
* Authorities are warning men travelling in Uganda to be aware of a rather clever tactic used by female thieves: The women get all fapitzed in hot clothes and high heels, smear a little chloroform in the cleavage and find an unsuspecting idiot to give a nuzzle. After they’ve passed out, the guys’ wallets are as easy pickin’s as they come.
From the YahooUK article: “They apply this chemical to their chest. We have found victims in an unconscious state,” Criminal Investigations Directorate (CID) spokesman Fred Enanga told AFP. “You find the person stripped totally naked and everything is taken from him,” he said. “And the victim doesn’t remember anything. He just remembers being in the act of romancing.”
I think if a guy needs to be told to keep his nose out of strange women’s breasts, the schmuck deserves to have his cash lifted, nu?
*It seemed icky to post real boobs to accompany this post, so I found an anime female thief character from DragonQuest, which makes my point without pandering to the pervs – unless you’re one of those gamers who find cartoons arousing.
Surely you’re thinking the topic of this post will be commentary on the way the current economy is melting apart like a Nazi’s face in Raiders of the Lost Ark and how the Yenta will have to spend the next decade scrounging for freelance work writing ad copy for strip clubs.
But really, it’s just that my gums are sore, I’ve got the tryptophan blues and though it’s only 7pm, I’m in my pajamas. I am merely a liberal arts-educated, scatterbrained working mother who screams bloody murder when the price of organic milk goes up thirty cents; it’s best for us all if I leave the complexities of bad tidings to the professionals: Today’s New York Times had a feature on how the “nation’s economic downturn” (oh, how many ways can it be said?) has affected Savannah.
Savannah? She may be the East Coast’s fifth-largest port city and home to Paula Deen’s butter, but does this city really deserve the lens of a NYT economic analyst? Aren’t there plenty of other cities where unemployment has risen almost two percent, the local tourist industry has contracted a bad case of consumption and big business is feeling small? Did the reporter just pitch his editor this story because he wanted a few days’ working vacation in a sunnier clime (although not today!)?
The article is, of course, researched within an inch of its life and cringingly nails down the pathological optimism I observe as people continue to shop themselves to Hell. Poor Savannah, all wrung out in her tattered underdrawers for the world to see…but nevermind, cause this city has an even bigger, more imminent problem: Sarah Palin will be here tomorrow.
Yes, you read it right – The Bespectacled She-Demon of Democracy Herself will arrive at 11am at the Civic Center to lend her support for the biggest, most bedazzling pork barreller of them all, Saxby Chambliss. Saxby’s a Good Ol’ Boy who probably can’t believe Jim Martin garnered enough votes to create a run-off election, and getting everyone back to the polls ain’t gonna be easy. Yes, I’m going to try and crash; if you see AP clips of a dark-haired woman streaking across the MLK Auditorium shrieking “I’ve known feminists, and YOU, Sarah Palin, ARE NO FEMINIST!”, call my lawyer.
UPDATE: That was waaay too easy. Here’s a photo. Read the scoop at savannah.skirt.com/blog. 
George W. and Laura Bush, in their desire to show Jewish leaders around the United States how much they tolerate their heretical sinfulness, are throwing their last Chanukah bash at the White House.
Invitations were sent out last week to all the important Jewish politicos, and strangely, the RSVPs were slow coming in. Hmm, I wonder why…
Could it be because the cards show a horse-drawn cart bearing a sign “White House Christmas Tree 2008” and pulling a Christmas tree to the White House, which is decorated with a holiday wreath?
Spokesperson Sally Sally McDonough chalked it up to a “staff mistake” and expressed hostess Laura’s apologies, who was either so mortified by the error or preoccupied with hanging glittery balls in the guest bathrooms that she couldn’t find the wherewithal to issue her own mea culpa.
McDonough said the intended Hanukkah invitations, which bear the image of a menorah given to the White House during the Harry Truman administration, would be sent out Thursday.
One more reason the Bush administration will go down as having the most retarded diplomacy skills in the history of Western civilzation.
And though the end of this circus is nigh, we mustn’t exhale just yet: According to BackwardsBush.com, as of this writing he’s still got 53 days, 2 hours, 10 minutes and 13 seconds to f*ck something else up.
*“Yiddish With George and Laura” available here.
Hailing from Chicago, the menschs behind KosherHam.com are the new kids on the Jewish T-shirt block and they’re gettin’ love from all over.
With clever offerings like the chanukiah-adorned “Gettin’ Lit,” for-everyone must-haves like “Barak’n The Free World” and of course, their own oxymoronic logo (the little piggie is cute, nu?), what’s not to adore?
But the Yenta’s calling copyJew on the “One Fish, Two Fish, Gefilte” design – it appeared as T-Shirt of the Week way back in 2005 – likely before these e-capitalists were even bar mitzvahed.
*I couldn’t post a photo with this because the Google image results made the gyro I ate for lunch come alive.
Little Yenta Girl left preschool on Friday with a note that made my skin crawl – literally. LICE, it said. Don’t come back until she’s been fumigated, you filthy family, it said. Well, not literally, but I could smell the judgment. It was even more mortifying than that time she bit three kids in one day.
A school nurse tried to make me feel better by telling me that lice only like really clean hair, actually, and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with my mothering (except for, you know, maybe the swearing.) I was just relieved she cut her own hair and this wasn’t discovered by the frou-frou stylist at the salon. And thank the heavens my poor bubbie isn’t alive to know about this – not only would the horror have been too much, she probably would have cut me out of the will.
Honestly, can you think of yuckier way to spend the Sabbath than picking nits out of your child’s hair?
Strangely, it was some of the most relaxed mother/daughter bonding we’d had in a long time (she’s usually pinching my armpits or singing “Old MacDonald Drove A Bus” at top volume in my ear whenever we’re together.) She sat in my lap and watched “Tinkerbell” while I combed tea olive/tea tree/lavender oil through every single hair on her head and tweezed off the little buggers. The stuff smelled so nice I conditioned my own hair with it, but don’t worry, I’m not going to start telling your about some new fabulous home remedy. I do not want to ever be an expert on this. If your kid has lice, you’re on your own.
LYG got the “all-clear” this morning, and the nurse complimented me on my delousing skills. I’m proud?
I attended by first Savannah Derby Devils bout last week, and I cannot bah-leeve it took me so damn long.
I’m no great fan of team sports (especially having been subjected to El Yenta Man’s vicious swearing at the t.v. this fall as the Georgia Bulldogs continue to fumble their way into a winning season) but I cheered myself hoarse as my homegirls “dropped the bomb on Fayette-nam” in a 98-87 win against the Rogue Roller Girls from North Carolina. There was plenty of of pushing and shoving by Madam Meshuggunah and Dolly Post-Partum, but the leader of the pack this night was for sure Fear Abby, otherwise known as my favorite Methodist, Faith Forward blogger and Savannah Morning News religion editor Dana Clark Felty.
I always knew Girlfriend was cool, but to see my quiet friend who likes to discuss the finer points of theology jam ’round the rink pushing aside tattooed refrigerators with braids? I am in awe. She showed up in character for skirt!‘s “THIS Is What A Feminist Looks Like” bash a coupla weeks back and posed with me for the requisite “mess the horns, you get the mad fuckin’ cow” shot, but if you wanna see her in action, check out the Spotted photos.
Emceeing the event was the “Rabbi of Rock,” Boomer of 106.1, providing the kind of wit from the sidelines that only a crazy-ass Jew with head tattoos could throw out. I’ll have to learn to appreciate the new Guns N’ Roses album just so I can listen to him in the afternoons.
I know you’re thinking, “Yenta, you love to rollerblade. And you have so much unchecked aggression – YOU should become a Derby Devil!”
Well, dahlinks, first off, there’s the hip. And now that I’ve witnessed the violent spectacle of roller derby up close, I have realized something important about myself:
I am a total wuss. Those chicks would make me cry inside of five minutes.