There is no doubt that Evan and Jaron Lowenstein are very, very cute Jewish boys. Our people could not ask for more not one, but two mensches with identical handsome punims out there representin’ and declining Friday night gigs.
The kosher duo has played pro baseball together, had more than a couple hit songs together, shilled for Israel together and are surely at least partly responsible for the sexy makeover that modern Judaism has received in the new millenium (at least in America, anyway), kicking off that “it’s so cool to be Jewish” wave that launched a thousand hipster t-shirts and the invention of the faux mitzvah.
But their singular career is in dangerous D-list territory. Last year they shamed themselves on a painfully dumb reality show where they showcased an “invention” that hides olive pits and were never seen again in the series. How long could it be before they ended up on some has-been graveyard show like Celebrity Fit Club, all Elvis-obese times two, having gaining 50 pounds each in a desperate attempt to keep themselves in fame’s addictive light?
They’re not Chyna Doll’s b*tches yet, but it’s getting there. Just last night I saw the Wonder Twins of Modern Orthodox with their latest joined-at-the-hip adventure on Character Road Trip on the USA Network, and I was really rooting for them.
Unfortunately, the boys quote awful made-up dialogue and travel the country in search of “unusual characters” like a guy who makes Etch-A-Sketch art (this is not, actually, that unusual,) a roller derby queen/sex therapist named Markie D. Sod (OK, she qualifies) and fading celeb Corbin Bersen (sorry no one’s producing Major League 7, Corby, I always liked ya.) It’s just terrible TV, people. Trust your yenta.
The shanda here is that these boys are talented and the good news is that they’re in Nashville producing a new album. But now they’ve got to keep the interest of a fan base who has since tasted novelties like Hasidic reggae dub. Can Evan and Jaron come up with something new and exciting, like a genre-busting album of Jewish alt-country?