Anutha Hebrew-Derived Celebspawn Name

it'sa  girlWe already have Tomkat’s little Suri (with the lunatic fringe on top) and now there’s Brangelina’s brand new Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, whose first name means “place of peace” in Hebrew.

Whether Shiloh, born in Namibia by C-section Saturday, grows up to be celebrity Kabbalist remains to be seen. But the real question is when journalists will cease the ridiculous practice of giving famous couples cutesy combination apellations.

Flying the Unfriendly Skies

parachuteThanks to joe e. at j. (it’s an all-lowercase operation over here) for the following tidbit:

Stupid: Jumping out of a perfectly good plane.

Stupider: Jumping out of a perfectly good plane over a secret nuclear weapons facility.

Stupidest: Doing it in Israel.

Dude better change the color of his parachute fast, nu?

Stay Tuned For Non-Toxic Bug Repellant Recipe

8I’m going to wish you all an early “Shabbat Shalom” as I am off to the Northern California Women’s Herbal Symposium to the glean the ways of wildcrafting and crone wisdom.

Or as El Yenta Man put it, I’m “gonna sit in the red tent and learn about plants and shit.”

In any case, I will have plenty of time to contemplate how to answer this beautifully illustrated question (larger version)
in peace while he takes care of the kids all weekend. Feel free to leave any ideas on what you would tell a 6-year-old in the comments section.

Painting is “8″ by Marin artist and MOT Elly Simmons. Check out her amazing art here.

Go To College, Learn To Hate Jews!

fuck collegeJPost reports that Dartmouth College has rejected Jewish fraternity Alpha Episilon Pi from its Greek row for the second time since the school lifted its ban on new fraternities last year.

While the council originally said it “could not sustain another fraternity,” it also conceded that some in the council were uncomfortable admitting a fraternity whose membership was “eighty to ninety percent” Jewish.

But Dartmouth doesn’t have a problem recognizing other Greek organizations based on ethnicity such as Alpha Phi Alpha, a historically African-American fraternity, and Latino fraternity Lambda Upsilon Lambda.

Time for those AEPis to go GDI, nu?

And lest you think covert anti-Semitism is limited to second-tier Ivy League schools in WASPy neighborhoods, check out the truly frightening things happening on the U.C. Irvine campus in liberal, “tolerant” California.

In the midst of an apparent propaganda push against Israel and Jews currently on the extracurricular agenda at America’s institution’s of higher learning, a new sorority based on Islam is being welcomed on several American campuses.

Jeebus, my mother only had to worry about date rape drugs and Jews for Jesus when I left for school.

Stock Options For Wisdom?

bill gatesHot on the heels of billionaire Warren Buffett’s dizzying $4 billion aquisition of a Galilee-based metalbworking plant earlier this month is Bill Gates, who reportedly has grand plans for Israeli start-up Whale Communications.

And it’s not just the tech sector that interests Master Microsoft: Arutz Sheva reports that Microsoft officials were scoping out a yeshiva in Bnei Brak to learn the ways of the Gemara, where they made the scholars an offer to invest in a computer program on Talmud and Torah.

I’m no yeshiva queen, but Microsoft messin’ with Talmudic wisdom sounds like a disaster. We’re the People of the Book, not the People of the Buggy Software, yo.

(Hat tip: Paleojudaica).

Cowgirl Poem

cowgirlYes, I’m subjecting you all to more of my poetry, only because a few of you insisted that I post these pieces somewhere “permanent” so you can read them to your heart’s content no matter what end of the earth I’ve wandered off to. The photo, like the poem, is at least five years old.

Cowgirl

So I’m walking down Bolinas
Minding my life’s business
When suddenly a catcall pierces the air:

Hey there, cowgirl
How you doin’?

It’s just some scruffy shmuck
In a pickup truck
Trying his luck
Hoping to f–
latter
Wanting me to return his boomerang with some friendly chatter, see
But what would happen if I threw back what really matters to me? Continue reading

T-Shirt Of the Week: You Got It WHERE? Part 2

old navyFirst Urban Outfitters gets in on the Israeli shmatas, and now Old Navy’s hawking double entendre tourism.

You can air your pits in this “spousebeater” while promoting the Holy Land, but please, no bra straps.

A hearty nod to Jewschool for the link and a new, p.c. term for my trash fashion lexicon.

Deep in the Heart of Texas…

kinky…the Jews, liberals, outlaws and rebels are shooting beer can pyramids and dancing the hora, ’cause there’s gonna be a Jewish cowboy on the ballot come November!

Kinky Friedman went above and beyond the required 45,540 signatures needed to be an official candidate on the Texas gubenatorial ballot, turning in a whopping 169,574 written endorsements supporting his independent bid last week.

‘Course one of his three opponents, State Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn, also running as an independent, turned in 223,000 signatures.

Commented the famously sharp-tongued Kinky: “Of course she’s got more signatures. She’s got all ex-husbands there.” (Apparently Strayhorn changes her last name with each husband; her Wikipedia entry counts at least three. Another strange fact: She’s the mother of Bush’s former press secretary Scott McClellan.)

All those autographs still need to be verified, but now it’s all over but the votin’!

Tongue-Tied About Israel

wall
In spite of the The Israel Project’s new study that claims 94% of Americans agree with the statement that “Palestinian leaders must disarm the terrorists” and a large majority believe the U.S. should back Israel, I still managed to find somebody last weekend who opposes those notions. You’d think I’d have been able to keep my sh*t together considering the locale was 4 year-old’s birthday party, but I’m so embarrassed to admit I totally lost it.

While our children squealed with joy in the Hello Kitty! jumpy house, I attempted to remain civil while talking to a man who maintained that Israel “invaded” Palestine in 1948, kicked out the “Palestinians” and has engaged in an “ethnic cleansing” campaign ever since. He argued that suicide bombing is the “only option” for these oppressed refugees and since Israel was created illegally, it should be given back to its “rightful” inhabitants.

I know, I should have walked away and gotten a second piece of ice cream cake. But this is the kind of ignorance that exists � thrives � in a “liberal” place like Marin County, California and I’ve just flippin’ had it. Continue reading

I’m A Cover Girl

jSo it’s not exactly my face on the cover of this week’s j., but Yo, Yenta! leads off the “People of the Blog” feature by Alix Wall and Rachel Silverman. Kvell away, but all must know that the hair stripes are currently a shade called “Little Red Corvette.”

While this yenta provides the local angle, the story also quotes the blogiful wisdom of Esther Kustanowitz, ’cause what would a piece about Jewish blogging be without My Urban Kvetch?