Surely you’re thinking the topic of this post will be commentary on the way the current economy is melting apart like a Nazi’s face in Raiders of the Lost Ark and how the Yenta will have to spend the next decade scrounging for freelance work writing ad copy for strip clubs.
But really, it’s just that my gums are sore, I’ve got the tryptophan blues and though it’s only 7pm, I’m in my pajamas. I am merely a liberal arts-educated, scatterbrained working mother who screams bloody murder when the price of organic milk goes up thirty cents; it’s best for us all if I leave the complexities of bad tidings to the professionals: Today’s New York Times had a feature on how the “nation’s economic downturn” (oh, how many ways can it be said?) has affected Savannah.
Savannah? She may be the East Coast’s fifth-largest port city and home to Paula Deen’s butter, but does this city really deserve the lens of a NYT economic analyst? Aren’t there plenty of other cities where unemployment has risen almost two percent, the local tourist industry has contracted a bad case of consumption and big business is feeling small? Did the reporter just pitch his editor this story because he wanted a few days’ working vacation in a sunnier clime (although not today!)?
The article is, of course, researched within an inch of its life and cringingly nails down the pathological optimism I observe as people continue to shop themselves to Hell. Poor Savannah, all wrung out in her tattered underdrawers for the world to see…but nevermind, cause this city has an even bigger, more imminent problem: Sarah Palin will be here tomorrow.
Yes, you read it right – The Bespectacled She-Demon of Democracy Herself will arrive at 11am at the Civic Center to lend her support for the biggest, most bedazzling pork barreller of them all, Saxby Chambliss. Saxby’s a Good Ol’ Boy who probably can’t believe Jim Martin garnered enough votes to create a run-off election, and getting everyone back to the polls ain’t gonna be easy. Yes, I’m going to try and crash; if you see AP clips of a dark-haired woman streaking across the MLK Auditorium shrieking “I’ve known feminists, and YOU, Sarah Palin, ARE NO FEMINIST!”, call my lawyer.
UPDATE: That was waaay too easy. Here’s a photo. Read the scoop at savannah.skirt.com/blog.