Top Ten Signs You’re At A Lame Chanukah Party, courtesy of Bangitout.com (cartoon, too!):
10. The Sfuganiot are filled with something, but it sure ain’t jelly
9. You get there and it’s just you, a plate of latkes, and a guy dressed up as Santa.
8. The music stops until Joe Lieberman rehits the Demo button on the Casio keyboard
7. Menorah looks alot like a bunch of flash lights duck-taped to a car bumper
6. Host generously offers his cigarette as a shamash
5. Party is dubbed “Saddam Hussein’s Rockin’ Eve”
4. Immediately after the candlelighting party breaks into a 2 hour awkward silence
3. Latkes are served in a soup bowl with a ladle
2. The guys in the room have enough grease in their hair to keep a menorah burning all year round.
1. Alas, there was not enough alcohol to last for even one night.
A few more, courtesy of the Yenta:
* There’s a giant inflatable Winnie the Pooh hovering in the corner wearing a Santa hat
* You ask for something to wash down the latkes and someone hands you a mug of eggnog
* The shumash sets the Chrismukkah tree on fire
Feel free to come up with more double the points if they’re based on true life experiences (as two out of the three above are).