The Smoking Gun gives us an example of Husbandly Expectations Gone Wild (scroll down).

I understand the need to be clear about certain things in a marriage, but Travis Frey’s demands of his wife, like a specifically-sized patch of pubic hair and the insistence that only wear thong underwear, is just … micromanaging. As Treifalicious asks, where’d she meet this guy — craigslist?

Needless to say, Mrs. Frey didn’t sign it. Maybe that’s why he had to kidnap her. Freak.

Good thing when El Yenta Man and I drew up our own ketubah, the sacred Jewish marriage agreement to protect the wife’s rights in the home, we made sure it was a document spelling out equality and respect for each other. Yup, there it is, in a mahogany frame with our signatures hanging over the dresser, all in Hebrew.

Damn I wish I’d added in those secret “No snoring” and “I will not say anything that could be construed as inflammatory, argumentative or insensitive during your menstrual cycle” clauses.

*Ketubah image c/o JessyJudaica.

Who knew the best anti- anti-Semitic cartoonist around would be the prolific Dr. Suess?

UCSD’s collection of his anti-war and anti-anti-Semitic (oh man, there’s gotta be a better term) drawings show everyone’s favorite kiddie rhymemeister to be a deep-thinking leftist.

He couldn’t have entered the Israeli Anti-Semitic Cartoon contest, since he was officially a German Lutheran, but with his social conscience and commitment to human rights, I say he’s an honorary MOT.

Muchas gracias , como siempre, á Ctraffik, who’s quite a rhymemaster himself.

You know Tom and Jerry, right? The sadistic, slightly stupid cat and the saucy, smart mouse trapped in a neverending cycle of violence and codependence that used to served up on Saturday mornings for the kiddies?

It’s another one of them Jew conspiracies, dontcha know.

So says Iran, anyway. According to Professor Hasan Bolkhari, a cultural advisor to the Iranian Education Ministry, the Jews of Hollywood created the cartoon to dress up the image of mice in the media, since the the Nazis had stigmatized Jews as “dirty mice” in the minds of Europeans.

Bolkhari’s speech, televised on the Iranian news and translated by Middle East Research Institute deconstructed Jerry for his audience:

The mouse is very clever and smart. Everything he does is so cute. He kicks the poor cat’s ass. Yet this cruelty does not make you despise the mouse. He looks so nice, and he is so clever. … This is exactly why some say it was meant to erase this image of mice from the minds of European children, and to show that the mouse is not dirty and has these traits. Unfortunately, we have many such cases in Hollywood shows.

The Yenta isn’t one to spew unsolicited advice, but if they would like evidence of Jewish smarts and strength, perhaps Iranian officials should quit watching cartoons and pay attention to the news instead.

Today begins a Yenta family vacation that will involve much use of public restrooms. This is relevant to the recent discovery of knowledge that no Jewish mother wants to hear: Toilet paper covers are a placebo.

Nevertheless, I’m still using ’em, along with that anti-bacterial gel stuff that isn’t supposed to work. If we can’t have our delusions of sanitation, what do we have?

The clever chicks of JewishWomenWatching, an activist group that raises awareness about homophobia and sexism within the Jewish community, have launched what may be one of the most hilarious, effective actions EVER:

To “create a buzz” around the Jewish community’s silence on the potential loss of women’s reproductive freedom with the confirmation of Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court, they’ve sent Jewish leaders across the country a little gift: vibrators.

“How can Jews be silent while the government imposes its Christian agenda on our bodies?” JWW asks.

Advocating accurate sex education and “medical care regulated by science, not Jesus” and promoting free orgasms to those in organized positions? Kudos, ladies. But are y’all watching the looks on the recipients’ faces when they open the package?

That’s right: We can’t bomb Mahmoud Ahmadinejad out of office, we certainly can’t vote him out, but we can sure as hell sue him:

Yesterday in Vienna, the European Jewish Congress voted to file charges against everyone’s favorite international superfascist at the International Court of Justice in The Hague for inciting hatred.

And it’s a class action deal, too: Sign the petition here.