It’s not exactly divine retribution for Ann Coulter’s nauseating anti-Semitic remarks, but sometimes Jews have to take matters into their own hands.

The mischevious minds at Bragster.com have put up $1000 for anyone who’s caught on video pelting Ann Coulter with bagels.

Obviously, be gentle and do not hurt her. This is simply a little bit of fun…

Let’s hope your aim is better more precise than than those Al Pieda jokers, though!

And please, use moldy ones. I’m loathe to see perfectly good bagels go to waste.

Holy moly, Hallelu Atlanta is only two and a half weeks away?! (Check the superfab new trailer here.)

I feel like I should be like, doing something to prepare for live blogging in front of 3500 cool Jews at the world-renowned Fox Theater with the greatest names in Jewish music, but Boss “Silver Fox” Taubman says he wants it to be spontaneous. Call me neurotic (go ahead, El Yenta Man does all the time) but couldn’t spontaneity look very much like idiocy, especially when I’m standing next to the totally stylish, composed, not to mention brilliant Neshama Carlebach?

I feel like I’m stuck in that dream everyone has at least once where you show up to a big event and you’re buck naked. Feh, no one’s coming to see me anyway. But still, maybe I’ll start picking out my outfit now so I don’t end up with a bare tushy in front of all y’all…think I’ll start with the new Fluevogs I bought myself for my 36th (double chai!) birthday last week.

Okay, Eyal’s story is kind of a downer. Suicide bombers suck, yo. But here’s the silver lining: With the help of the amazing non-profit OneFamilyFund in tandem with Dave Goldfarb and the rest of the folks at Xtreme Indoor Karting in Miami, the blind 24 year-old got to fulfill his dream of getting behind the wheel of a lightning fast go-cart last week.

Now that’s a YouTube I want to see.

The Yenta’s in a real tizzy today, dealing with editorial details, procuring eyeglasses for Yenta boy (he already thinks he’s Woody Allen, now he’ll look like him) and cleaning our filthy bayit for Shabbat, but I just couldn’t let icky ol’ Ann’s face stay in the top tier all weekend.

Instead, please enjoy the lovely work of spiritual Judaic artist SuSan Esther Koenigsberg.

Good Shabbos, friends!

Y’all know I don’t like the lashon hora, but I’ve just had enough of this crazy blond trannie.

While appearing on CNBC’s The Big Idea with Donnie Deutsch, Ann invited nice Jewish boy Donnie to church with her, then suggested that “Jews need to be perfected” by converting to Christianity. Read the entire transcript here.

Whatever. See ya in the seventh circle of hell, beeotch.

Y’all have got to meet Miriam and Shoshana, the dopest frum maydeles ev-ah. Just ’cause they’re shomer negiah don’t mean they don’t get down, yo!

Highlights that may their parents sitting shivah: “Onion bagels are like crack,” “Sippin’ the ”Chewitz before class,” “Oh shit, sundown!” And what up with the Jesus cameo?

Hat tip to Bridgitte of Yideoz.com, who rightly (and righteously) figured I’d love this!

Update: Hmm, the screen looks wonky…click here to watch!

Mindy Schiller’s What’s Wrong With Hebrew School? in the current World Jewish Digest is a MUST read for every Jew who spent their Sundays reciting the aleph-bet and is subjecting their children to the same. It’s probably going to echo your remembered frustrations and those of your children – namely that it’s boring – but Schiller isolates a few variables like poor timing (like any fourth grader’s going to be bright and sparky at 6pm on a Wednesday) and part-time teachers who aren’t focused (um, you talkin’ to me?) that contribute to the problem.

The article delves deep into the real question – what’s the point of Hebrew School at all if no one’s really learning to speak Hebrew? My humble opinion as a lazy Jew and fast-and-loose Sunday School teacher is that whatever we can do to imbue our children with a positive Jewish identity that’s going to last through the college years is valuable, even if it’s only the memory of sitting on a rug doing the S’hma in sign language.

But those who teach the higher grades have real challenges trying to teach a language, prayers, culture and history in the two-and-half measly hours that their students would rather be playing Wii. Our Shalom School has incorporated the Union for Reform Judaism’s Chai program this year, which focuses on Torah and ethics, and the older students get a midweek dose of Hebrew as well. But is it enough?

You know I can’t possibly answer that. All I know is I’d better my tushy moving on this week’s lesson plan.

Remember when we got all weepy about the imminent axing of Anne Frank’s beloved chestnut tree? Well, because of the outcry that followed the Amsterdam city council’s mandate, the council has turned around and given the treehuggers until January to come up with a plan to save it, even though it’s in pretty bad shape.

Experts say the 27-ton tree is too diseased from fungi to be saved and the owner wants it cut down as he would be liable for any damage caused should it fall…A Utrecht-based firm, Trees Institute, has suggested a salvage plan involving treatment and support for the trunk and limbs.

Falling limbs aside…Ha! I knew complaining really loudly to get something done works!

With very few exceptions, rubber shoes are footwear non gratae in Yentaland. So very tacky, tacky, tacky. My mother might not have had her bat mitzvah until she was in her 50’s, but the woman taught me how to dress for synagogue. And there are classy, stylish ways to deal with the no-leather-on-Yom Kippur thing, people. There is no reason to resort to Martha Stewart’s gardening shoes, and certainly not with a Chanel suit. I don’t care how comfortable they are, you are seriously hampering your chances of being written into the Book of Life by sporting them.

I am referring to JTA’s announcement that the hated, hideous Crocs are the new Jew shoe. God help us all.