Rock n’ Roll Continues to Love Israel

steven tylerHot on the pleather platform heels of Gene Simmon’s video to an IDF soldier paralyzed in Lebanon comes Aerosmith screechman Steven Tyler, who dedicated the anthem “Dream On” to reservist Ehud Goldwasser at the request of Goldwasser’s wife Karnit during a New York show. Goldwasser was abducted by Hezbollah along with Eldad Regev on July 12, sparking a nasty 34-day battle that still hasn’t led to their release.

Karnit was in New York to attend meetings at the UN, and said her husband loves Aerosmith and that she was moved to tears by Tyler’s dedication. But I think I know what her husband will say when he is returned home safely (God willing!): What? No f*ckin’ t-shirt?

L’Chaim to He’Brew

beerIt started out as a joke, but macher Jeremy Cowan is laughing all the way to the bank: His He’Brew: The Chosen Beer microbrewery/schtick factory is celebrating 10 years in business.

There’s even two new brews for the New Year: There’s Genesis 10:10, a concoction of the original He’brew infused with everyone’s favorite biblical fruit, the pomegranate. (Just who is the pomegranate’s publicity agent? That fruit is so everywhere these days.)

I’m looking forward to a swig of Bittersweet Lenny’s R.I.P.A., at once a tribute to loudmouth genius Lenny Bruce and a revolution in your basic pale ale. Brewed with “an obscene amount of malts and hops” to produce “shocking flavors far beyond contemporary community standards,” Lenny’s R.I.P.A. promises to piss off the neighbors.

Come to think of it, forget this whole nice-brisket-after-synagogue crap. Let’s do Rosh Hashanah right and have a kegger!

Dog of the Dead

dogFrom Ynetnews: A righteous man dies in Israel, a dog shows up on the stoop and won’t go away. Believing the pooch is seeking forgiveness for sins committed in a previous life, frum neighbors put aside the Talmud’s forbiddance of harboring barky pets and invite it to Shabbos dinner. The dog eats his meal and leaves after Kaddish. Full story.

Photo of the actual dog c/o Ynet.

Rosh Hashanah Greetings For Slackers

appleI’m pretty sure I still have thank-you notes to write from my wedding eight years ago, so I can’t be expected to order (in advance) those lavish and lovely cards real Jewish grown-ups send out (on time) to friends and family. So here’s a compilation of all the electronic greetings all the rest of you slackers can send with just a few clicks. No, e-cards aren’t nearly as classy or personal, but they help assuage the guilt. Besides, they’re free.

First off, stay away from — there’s something weirdly Jesus-y about them; plus, they got the date of Rosh Hashanah wrong on the home page. And the singing squirrels and apples playing guitar at take the “mooshy-gooshy” factor so far you may feel like barfing.
has by far the most original and artistic Flash art and has some nice stills (as in non-animated), but both sites require membership and Yenta don’t play like that. They do have a free trials though, so maybe you’ll check it out.

has a decent shofar/tree of life dealio that’s quite pretty, but as far as no commitment, entirely free e-cards go, your best bets are HappyDayCards (though the beaver offering is completely retarded), (more dancing apples, but the food one is nice for all the gastronomical Jews in your address book) and (more with the shimmying fruit and annoying furry animals, but there’s a couple of things you won’t cause you shame.)

Even if you’ve never sent any kind of Rosh Hashanah card to anyone in your (self-absorbed, lazy) life, take a few minutes to send out one these. Your mother will plotz, at the very least.

From Hectic to Serene With The Flick of A Match

sabbath candlesSo my mother-in-law’s caregiver quit without notice, the minivan required several hundred dollars worth of tinkering and I’ve somehow ended up with three extra children to watch for the weekend, but it’s still been a blessed week. And although sundown is still hours away, I must bid y’all “Shabbat Shalom” before my charges burn down the house.

Please enjoy this watercolor by Washington state artist Shelley Skoropinski – it truly captures the exhale of relief I experience every time I light the Shabbos candles. (Larger view.)

The rest of Skoropinski’s work exudes the same quiet reverence for Jewish life; I just love “Friends” and the one of the men playing chess. Should you have a blank wall begging for color and talent, her paintings are available as 11×17 prints for $30.

Bush Must Answer For Borat

boratTo paraphrase Sarah at Jewschool, it’s hard to deny Jews are behind world affairs when the President of the United States to set his agenda around fictional characters.

That’s right: Borat, bumbling alter-ego of Jewish comedian Sacha Baron Cohen and star of his own upcoming movie (watch the trailer!), has enraged the Kazakh government so badly that Bush must placate leader Nursultan Nazarbayev before talks can move on to actual issues, like how America can exploit form economic relations with the former Soviet state. Full story.

Not that Bush shouldn’t apologize for something, but isn’t Cohen British?

Jews In Da House (and Senate)

ben cardinThis is Ben Cardin, who won the Democratic primary for Maryland’s U.S. Senate seat. No, he’s not too sexy and bears more than a passing resemblance to Dick Cheney, but this guy’s head, heart and soul are in the right place.

There are plenty more Jewish politicians you’ve never heard of on tickets across the country, and though none may ever be quite as well known the embarrassingly independent Joe Lieberman and Texas’ Jewboy gubernatorial candidate, JTA’s full run-down of the MOT factor in Tuesday’s primary results is impressive.