I have a friend who met a girl who he’d consider settling down with but he still feels like he has more partying and exploring to do before he reaches that point. He doesn’t want to risk losing the possibility of being with the girl, so when do you suggest it’s the right time to settle down and lay down the “pimp” hat for good? Also how would he know if that girl IS the right one for him?
– Pimpin Player, Miami, FL
Yo, Pimpin Player: You, I mean, your friend (*wink, wink*) suffers from a run-of-the-mill case of Male Commitment Disease, an affliction that causes a guy to be distracted by passing skirts and high heels no matter how gorgeous and special the woman sitting in front of him is. Other symptoms include an obsession with male-pattern baldness and its prevention, excessive use of text messaging (as to carry on with other ladies without the main squeeze catching on) and an affinity for bad aftershave.
MCD is common for men in their 20s and usually dissipates in the early 30s, when they realize theyre blessed to have any woman who will tolerate their meshuggas for more than a couple of dinners and a roll in ol Tempur-pedic. Though there are instances of this problem lasting into the 60s and 70s, these severe cases are usually accompanied by multiple plastic surgeries and huge alimony payments. This doesnt sound like your friend, P.P., and hes taken a great step in admitting his confusion. But unless hes got an extremely understanding woman who will let him keep playing until hes ready to settle down (which may be indicative of another common singles ailment, Female Doormat Disease) hes not going to have it both ways. He cant know this girl is the right one until he commits; but hes afraid to commit because theres might be someone better.
Welcome to love, my friend. Its a risk. My advice is to keep up the honesty with yourself and your lady and youll feel it when the time is right. I mean, your friend will know, and then youll just have to wear that pimp hat all by yourself.