Yo Yenta! Advice: Laying Down the “Pimp Hat”

Yo, Yenta! Advice Yo, Yenta!
I have a friend who met a girl who he’d consider settling down with but he still feels like he has more partying and exploring to do before he reaches that point. He doesn’t want to risk losing the possibility of being with the girl, so when do you suggest it’s the right time to settle down and lay down the “pimp” hat for good? Also how would he know if that girl IS the right one for him?

– Pimpin’ Player, Miami, FL

Yo, Pimpin’ Player: You, I mean, your friend (*wink, wink*) suffers from a run-of-the-mill case of Male Commitment Disease, an affliction that causes a guy to be distracted by passing skirts and high heels no matter how gorgeous and special the woman sitting in front of him is. Other symptoms include an obsession with male-pattern baldness and its prevention, excessive use of text messaging (as to carry on with other ladies without the main squeeze catching on) and an affinity for bad aftershave.

MCD is common for men in their 20’s and usually dissipates in the early 30’s, when they realize they’re blessed to have any woman who will tolerate their meshuggas for more than a couple of dinners and a roll in ol’ Tempur-pedic. Though there are instances of this problem lasting into the 60’s and 70’s, these severe cases are usually accompanied by multiple plastic surgeries and huge alimony payments. This doesn’t sound like your friend, P.P., and he’s taken a great step in admitting his confusion. But unless he’s got an extremely understanding woman who will let him keep playing until he’s ready to settle down (which may be indicative of another common singles’ ailment, Female Doormat Disease) he’s not going to have it both ways. He can’t know this girl is the “right” one until he commits; but he’s afraid to commit because there’s might be someone better.

Welcome to love, my friend. It’s a risk. My advice is to keep up the honesty with yourself and your lady and you’ll feel it when the time is right. I mean, your friend will know, and then you’ll just have to wear that pimp hat all by yourself.

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