Yo, Yenta! Advice: Hot Heads & Cold Feet

Yo, Yenta! AdviceYo, Yenta!
I’m an attractive, fit, single 30-something woman who smokes. I’m not some gross chain-smoker who blows smoke in people’s faces or anything; in fact, I try to be as considerate as possible of my less-than-a-half-pack a day habit. I have no intentions of quitting and I’m getting really tired of the Jewish men I date harping on me. Some of them won’t even make a second date with me based on this one part of me, which tells me that they’re too judgmental and self-righteous for me anyway. I don’t care if the person I date smokes, I just want to be accepted for who I am. How can I find a nice Jewish man who doesn’t’t care that I pop outside once in a while for a smoke break?

Chim-Chimney Gal, Cherry Hill, NJ

Yo, Chim-Chimney Gal!: Things sure have changed in America since
I was a kid. I remember my bubbe never went anywhere without a Louis
Vuitton cigarette case with a pocket for her pearl-encrusted Bic lighter;
I recall sitting in her lap while she ashed in a cut crystal ashtray.
It used to be that breakfast at Denny’s came with a cloud of secondhand
smoke from the next booth; God forbid you asked for a “non-smoking”
table and were seated outside by the dumpster. Nowadays, smokers fall
somewhere in between child molesters and people who fart in elevators.
Lighting up indoors is illegal in entire states, forcing smokers to
huddle pathetically outside, which has got to be a buzzkill. I’m not
going to go into the dangers of being a lifetime smoker and the obvious
denial of your addiction, but let’s just say when you’re forty-something,
chances are you won’t be so attractive and fit. In fact, your face may
start to resemble my bubbe’s leather cigarette case.
But it’s a free country (outdoors, anyway) so if you want to smoke,
that’s your issue. If you want to smoke and marry a nice Jewish doctor,
that might be a problem. To find a man who doesn’t mind stinky breath,
hair and clothing, you should remain honest about your habit in your
online profile so no one’s time is wasted. I also suggest you troll
for your beshert out by the curb, under awnings and the other charming
locations where smokers gather. Perhaps you’ll meet someone standing
outside in the rains.

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