Sucky Entertainment

Twilight_cast-thumb-550x347-13786Am I the only one who finds pale, strung-out looking actors and actresses sucking each other’s blood a poor excuse for a movie/t.v. show plot? Twilight, True Blood – enough already!

Not only is it totally nauseating that young people are going around these days trying to emulate codependent blood junkies, it’s just so unimaginative – can I get a werewolf or something? Maybe some fairies? I’d watch a cyclops if it meant I didn’t have to look at Robert Pattinson’s unibrow ever again.

But even the kvetchiest Yenta’s gotta relish‘s take on the trend:

Top Ten Signs Your Jewish Bubbie & Zaydie might be Vampires

10. All 3 meals a day consist of a bright red liquid: Borscht.

9. Heavy yiddish accent, could it be Transylvanian?

8. Skin color is pale white. Heavy red lipstick/blush isn’t helping.

7. In your mind, they’ve been alive forever.

6. Kvetch when exposed to the sun.

5. A wooden cane is their worst nightmare.

4. Always serving chopped liver, taugh you to suck out marrow

3. Seem to sleep heavily all day

2. Picked out their coffin already (parents always saying they have one foot in grave)

1. Teeth come out at night

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