Isaac Cohen’s Mother: Kvelling or Plotzing?

britney isaacSince Britney Spears quit Kabbalah in favor of Hinduism baby worship no underpants, you may have worried that you would never see her near this blog again. But have no fear, the world’s most confused shiksa has found her way onto the Jewdar once again, this time in the form of her new boy toy.

Encino-bred model/actor Isaac Cohen has hit the publicity jackpot by becoming the ex-Mrs. Federline’s most favorite accessory and has been seen escorting her to highbrow destinations like Hugh Hefner’s Vegas pad and all around West Hollywood — everywhere, it seems, but synagogue.

Yo, Isaac, babe. You seem like a nice kid. Dumb, but cute. You’re perfect for the role. I can only hope you will parlay this 15 minutes into a something useful to your career, like hosting one of those idiotic TV Guide shows that roll while people are trying to find something else to watch. Next time I see your mug pop up, I want it to be of your own merit and not just ’cause you went someplace previously stuck to a BMW’s leather seat.

Britney briefly made time with another J-Boy since splitting with that awful husband of hers, reports Radaronline, leading them to investigate a revolting possibility :

Maybe the tarnished shiksa goddess is just looking for the proverbial “nice Jewish boy” to treat her right after her failed marriage to trailer trash poster-boy Kevin Federline? Not so fast. According to, a genealogy website, “Federline” is an Americanized form of the German “Federlein,” a German and Ashkenazi Jewish name derived from the German word for feather. A spokeswoman for Federline could not immediately say whether he has Jewish ancestors.

Update: Dammitall! I couldn’t even finish this post before poor Isaac got dumped. It’s a mean, fast world out there, babe. Ah well, Isie, she’s a skanky courva anyway — what kind of mother doesn’t wear underpants?! Perhaps we’ll see more of you sometime — just please, don’t put out a Jewish rap album, ‘k?

And until she starts dating Seth Green, it looks like you’ve heard the last of Britney Spears round these parts.

4 thoughts on “Isaac Cohen’s Mother: Kvelling or Plotzing?

  1. The trouble with Britney is nearly always exactly the same. She’s an terrific talent. It is so disappointing to see her spurn it by being caught up in all that awful garbage. The girl should get herself to rehab, or book into a program, or get a more competent coach. Will she ever tour in the future? I’d kill to see her perform, her concerts are really breathtaking.

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