Longtime readers of this blog know of the ongoing bubbeminza concerning Yenta Boy’s passion for slithery reptiles and his confusion about how little Jewish boys come to own them. Newcomers, feel free to catch yourselves up with Part One and Part 2 of this saga.
He hasn’t mentioned Santa in a while, which has been a huge relief, but the kid has not let go of the snake idea. At the beginning of last year I told him he could have a snake – IF he kept the fish we bought him for Chanukah alive, and IF he did all his chores AND homework and IF he paid for the animal and all its weird snakey accoutrements himself.
Well, he met all those requirements, and yesterday, plagued with a vicious hangover combined with the clanging feeling in the brain that comes from trying to teach eight 5 year-olds the story of Creation (Now, children, how many days did it take God to create the world? Anyone? Anyone?) I was finally worn down by the cajoling, begging and emotional blackmail. So please join the Yenta family in welcoming our new addition to the family, a 20-inch ball python named Nag.
I know what you’re thinking and my child did NOT name his pet after his mother, thank you very much, but rather for the malicious cobra in the cartoon version of Rudyard Kipling’s Rikki Tikki Tavi. I’m kinda proud of him. But if the kid starts up with how Santa’s gonna bring him one of those little motorized Jeeps because his mother is so mean and says no, it’s gonna be snake steaks for dinner.