I gotta admit the j.'s jokes page has improved in my absence: Abe is sitting on a bench in Golden Gate Park reading an anti-Semitic newspaper. His friend Solomon walks by, sees the paper, and stops in shock. “What are you doing reading that paper?” Solomon asks. “You should be reading j. weekly!” Abe replies, “J. has stories about intermarriage, anti-Semitism, problems in Israel — all kinds of troubles for the Jewish people. I like to read about good news. This anti-Semitic paper says the Jews have all the money … the Jews control the banks … the Jews control the press … the Jews control Hollywood. Better to read nothing but good news!”