Following the thread that Kabbalah is the Scientology of the new millenium, the UK’s Mirror reports that Spice Girl Victoria Beckham now sports a red string bracelet to show her devotion to celebrity Judaism. The London Kabbalah Center teaches that the Zohar’s “unfathomable complexities” (for centuries thought to be too intense for even the most seasoned scholars) can be distilled merely by running one’s hands over the text, or maybe just by purchasing a bottle of holy water.
Rabbi Marcus of the Central London Synagogue isn’t surprised Kabbalah has so many celebrity followers. “If I’m being kind, I’ll say that most of them have probably done well in their field and have everything that money can buy. But they don’t have the one thing money can’t buy and that’s inner peace, serenity and stability. So they go searching and they can afford to….If I’m not being kind, I’d say that the celebrities I’ve come into contact with are the most insecure people I’ve ever met in my life.”
We at Jmerica would never sneer at another’s quest for inner peace, but it doesn’t seem fair that celebrities get to skip memorizing the haftorah portion.