My son came home from school last week asking a question that I’ve been dreading: “Can I join the Cub Scouts? Can I can I can I? There’s a meeting at 6:30 tonight!” El Yenta Man and I exchanged a look, and my husband told the boy that we’d talk about it later. Fortunately, he hadn’t brought home any information about where the meeting was to take place, so we conveniently missed it.
It’s not that I have anything against organized activites or nerdy blue uniforms, but I have a real problem with the Boy Scouts of America’s policy of banning gay people from their organization. As socially-sensitive Jew, I feel a a duty to oppose discrimination where I can, which means my kid is not going to participate in a group that excludes certain parts of the population based on prejudice. (Of course, plenty of Jewish scouts feel differently.)
“But he doesn’t need to know about all the politics. He’d learn to make a lanyard. And his friends are already in it,” El Yenta Man pointed out, playing Devil’s advocate.
“Yeah, but how would [our dear friends] Christopher and Daniel feel? Not to mention Hannah and Emily? We’d be hypocrites. We’re from San Francisco, for Pete’s sake! He can learn how to be prepared on his own. We provide plenty of time in nature for our kids, and I don’t it’s right for him to learn ‘leadership’ from people who preach intolerance. Big. Fat. No F*ckin’ Way.”
My husband agreed wholeheartedly, and we went into the other room to deliver the news to our son that he’d be skipping this activity. “You mean, like I can do it next year?” Skipping it indefinitely, kid. “But whhhhyyyyyy?” came the whine.
“Because it just doesn’t fit into our family’s values,” I said, expecting to have to go uncomfortably far into the regions of sexuality. He knows that Christopher and Daniel are boyfriend and boyfriend and that’s totally cool, and that little Abe has two mommies and how rad is that, but he hasn’t put body parts together and I’d like to keep it that way as long as I can.
Surprisingly, he took this without any need for further explanation, with a nod and an uncharacteristically simple “Okay.”
With it already settled, El Yenta Man asked him why he wanted to join the Scouts so badly in the first place. His eyes kind of brightened up and he said “Oh, you can earn all kinds of little patches that you can sew onto stuff!”
Forget soapbox derby, it’s the accessories he likes? I have nothing to say to that excepts that we stand by our decision, all the way.
*Photo from Tom Shepard’s award-winning documentary Scout’s Honor, about BSA’s anti-gay policies.
AMEN. We said no to that also with both our boys. Interestingly, the Girl Scouts are just the opposite: open and inclusive.
Here I go, Yo:
I was a Cub Scout. I didn’t like it. When the time came to join the Boy Scouts, I ran, but alas, my parents interceeded and voila – 7 years later I was awarded the Eagle Scout Award. No gay bashing then. The Vietnam war was in full swing, American flag shoulder patches went onto the uniforms (not mine, I was no War supporter, but to this day the BSA has maintained the American flag shoulder patch), and the movement’s political appetites had no concern for an issue that had yet to emerge (in fact, the adults were scouring the landscape for weed smokers). The point is, I enjoyed Boy Scouting – the #1 mentor of my youth was
my Scout Master, Mr. P. Max Weber, a Jewish Pennsylvania farm-bred 1st generation Jewish American-Hungarian who doubled as our Conservative Movement’s synagogue president (the shul was sponsored our troop). Things have obviously changed since then, and now new
criteria serve as the basis on which parents determine the fitness of the BSA for their children’s upbringing. Next to loosing my virginity, Boy Scouting was the
best experience of my youth (no connection
between the two. On the otherhand, every
male I’ve met who’s accomplished as an adult and who tried Boy Scouting as a kid dropped out, and did so early.
-Schvach
What are you going to answer him when he asks to go to Bible study at the local temple? Maybe you should tell him no as well, becuase of the ‘political’ and ‘prejudice’ verse which calls being gay an abomination.
Joe ~ I’m not too worried about my kid getting that message from our temple – the rabbi is a pretty liberal guy. And does the Torah call it an abomiation, or is that just fundametalist rhetoric? I thought it just said not to lie down with other men as one lies with a woman.
Is it Leviticus 18:22? “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind; it is abomination.”
Does this mean lesbians are okay?
I think the Boy Scouts’ policy jibes with what Judaism teaches. The law is pretty clear. That being said, I break alot of the laws. I even cut the corners of my beard!
I’m an Eagle Scout and I think you did the right thing; if you disagree with the policy based on moral obligations, you have to teach your son to stand up for what you believe and not let him join. They have the right to exclude people from their organization based on their moral beliefs and you have the right to not patronize them based on yours.
I think it’s a stupid rule. First of all, homosexual children have learned to protect themselves by that point and, hopefully, if they want to be surrounded by boys who are afraid of homosexuality, they wouldn’t put themselves in any danger by outing themselves. Their sexuality shouldn’t even be an issue. As far as adults go, it shouldn’t even come up and again, shouldn’t be an issue.
Personally, I think part of it is avoiding lawsuits from:
-Homosexual boys beaten by 12 year olds trying to prove they are not homosexual
-The homosexual child gets upset that other children used “gay” as an insult and sues the organization for allowing it to happen
-Molested children whose parents believe all homosexuals want to molest children and believe an inclusive policy would lead to more boy-hungry homosexuals signing up as leaders, which caused their child to be molested
hmmmm… my identity is being used by another “joe”… anyhow, In this case I’d make (or purchase) my own patches to reward my child for accomplishing tasks at home. We’d have our own version of the scouts.
Gay bashing or not, the thing that gives me the creeps about scouting is its founder’s ties to early British fascism and the Hitler Youth…not cool.
Hi
Please consider writing news pieces or an op-ed for Jewrusalem: Israeli Uncensored News. We strive to present different views and opinions while rejecting political correctness. Ideally, we try to make the news “smart and funny.” Thus, your input is very welcome.
Best,
Alex
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