People, I’m trying to fit in here in the South, really I am. I’ve let the fuschia hair streaks lay fallow, the orange combat boots are packed away, I don’t visibly shiver anymore when I see children at the playground snacking on pork rinds. But y’know, I still keep a little suitcase all packed and ready under the bed so I can throw the children in the minivan and escape to safer lands should it become necessary. Places where people don’t giggle and mime puffing motions when you tell them you’re wearing a hemp shirt. Where a “smoothie” is more that corn-syrup flavored powder and tap water. Where local politicians aren’t complete backasswards morons (I might have to keep driving to Canada, eh?) That suitcase has moved next to the door as of today:
I’m referring in particular to state representative Ben Bridges of Madison County, who distributed a memo all over the country calling for a school-wide ban on teaching evolution not just because he believes Darwin’s theory is “a myth,” but that the Big Bang is just some cockamamie lie made up by the Jews.
I know, I know! I couldn’t believe it either! But look, here’s the quote from the memo:
“Indisputable evidence long hidden but now available to everyone demonstrates conclusively that so-called ‘secular evolution science’ is the Big-Bang 15-billion-year alternate ‘creation scenario’ of the Pharisee Religion,” says the memo, which has Bridges’ name on it. “This scenario is derived concept-for-concept from Rabbinic writings in the mystic ‘holy book’ Kabbala [sic] dating back at least two millennia.”
The memo, which was sent to legislators in at least six other states, directed readers to the site www.fixedearth.com, an ignoramus’ paradise of skewed facts and ungodly nonsense such as “The Earth is not rotating…nor is it going around the sun,” written by someone who, from the rambling nature of the site, appears to suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.
But don’t you worry, the ADL is already on it (man, I just love those people!) The Southeast’s Regional Director Bill Nigut sent Bridges an e-mail calling on him to “repudiate and apologize” and that the memo “conjures up repugnant images of Judaism used for thousands of years to smear the Jewish people as cult-like and manipulative.”
Was Bridges repentant? Not so much. In fact, he denies writing the memo at all. But he fully stands behind his legislation to remove “evolutionism” from Georgia’s public schools: “I am convinced that rather than risk teaching a lie, why teach anything?”
Welcome to f*cking Georgia, people.