On The Doorpost Of Your Condo, Cave, Whateva

mezuzah vinemezOy, have you heard about the Florida condo association that tried to slap a Jewish resident with a fat fine for putting up a mezuzah? 28 year-old Laurie Richter knew better than to be intimidated by the building manager and cooly pointed out in a letter to the board that there were Christmas wreaths up until February in the building, so it obviously wasn’t an aesthetic issue.

“Clearly, the Rules and Regulations of the Port Condominium could not have intended to interfere with people practicing their religion,” she wrote in a letter to the association.

Richter won her right to affix the prayers to the doorposts of her house, and on her gates if she wishes, but not before the attorney general, a state representative and the ADL got involved. All the fuss embarrassed the bejeebus out of the condo association, who sniffly put out a press release that all Richter had to do was ask permission. Puh-leez! It’s not like a mezuzah is just some decoration like a freakin’ lawn gnome or one of those tacky nylon flags people put out to show support for their favorite team — and any homeowner’s association should know the difference. And this is Florida for criminey’s sakes — you can’t swing a cat without making a Jewish person sneeze. No excuse for such ignorance, unless, of course it’s more insidious.

In any case, such nonsense won’t happen again, as State Rep Julio Robaina of Miami has sponsored a bill that includes a provision to ensure residents can post a mezuzah. The language states: “No association may prohibit the attachment of religious items at the door or at the entrance of a unit. The board may adopt reasonable size restrictions for such items.” So no three-foot neon jobbies, ‘k?

Speaking of mezuzot, as you know, I’m shopping. I’ll probably buy locally from one of the synagogue gift shops, but I’m digging these two gorgeous items from the Mezuzahstore.com and Artazia.com. I’ve always figured we were covered with on the front door and one on the back, but maybe one for each of the bedroom doors will help us all sleep better, nu?

I’ve been brushing up on mezuzah protocol and the official prayer, but as usual, the new Yenta front door presents a problem: There is a glass door that opens outward and another that open into the interior. So do I affix the mezuzah on the outside of the first door, which would put it actually on the house instead of on the door frame, or do I put it between the two? Any help would be appreciated.

5 thoughts on “On The Doorpost Of Your Condo, Cave, Whateva

  1. Yo, Yenta:
    Your blog site is the best – emes! You come across as pure frum material, so is this an I-want-Purim-back spiel or what?
    Anyway, as for mezuzas, I’m no rabbi, in fact, I’m not even frum, but I think it goes something like this: check the Kitsur Shulchan Aruch (Ganzfried), or the chabad.org website for the needed info.
    Or, just affix one to every door jamb, (except bathrooms, latrens, or outhouses),
    including gateways and arches separating interior rooms. Instructions to be found at http://www.chabad.org. Bring your own hammer.
    -Schvach

  2. Wha the wha, Schvach? I come across as FRUM? I didn’t even know what the word meant until my 20’s! You got the wrong yenta, yo. i’ve checked Chabad, but I still don’t get the door-opens-out thing. Sigh.

  3. Oy Vey Yo Yenta, affix the Mezuzah
    BETWEEN the 2 doors, already. On the right side entering the home.
    Aye Buey te vas acer meshugge con esto ;o)

  4. Mazel tov on the new home!

    I love the Artazia mezuzah – I have one by the same artist (and darn you for showing me that website – do I look like the Bank of China?)

    As for the placement have you asked your Rabbi?

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