Hey Mom, You’re Outed!

We paid a visit to the ‘rents tony new home in Scottsdale last week and we didn’t miss the old neighborhood one bit. But Mom’s behavior was out of place- she kept humming under her breath and tracing symbols in the air with the tip of her finger. Just when we started wondering if she was taking some new baby boomer youth medication and whether we should organize an intervention, we extracted the reason for her mysterious ways: At the age of 60, our mother has begun attending Hebrew school and will stand on the bima for her bat mitzvah next summer.
Technically, she doesn’t have to go through the ceremony to “become” a bat mitzvah since Jewish law states that at the age of 12 (13 for the dudes) we all become responsible for our own actions in the world, whether we like it or not. But many adults who never experienced the torture of learning the Haftorah prayers are drawn to this spiritual rite of passage to reaffirm their commitment to Judaism. There is something momentous about standing up in front of your community and reading from the Torah, and well, there’s always a party. And no one throws a party like our mother- fuhgeddaboud cheeseball entertainers and bad themes; no one’s dancing to Kool And The Gang at this bash. Those Scottsdale mavens ain’t seen nothin’ like this bat mitzvah girl! We’re just super proud of her.

2 thoughts on “Hey Mom, You’re Outed!

  1. I lOVED this!! You are the cleverest daughter I have! I’m kvelling…and singing the aleph bet song. Might have to line up the caterers and party favors now.
    XXXYour MOM

  2. I lOVED this!! You are the cleverest daughter I have! I’m kvelling…and singing the aleph bet song. Might have to line up the caterers and party favors now.
    XXXYour MOM

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *