Fetus Spears To Suck Kabbalah Water

brit pregBritney Spears reportedly plans to birth her baby in a pool of Kabbalah water. This will require 1000 liters of the stuff (which, no matter how you close you view it, still looks like two molecules of hydrogen stuck to one molecule of oxygen) and comes with a $3800 price tag. The unofficial blog of the spawn has nothing to say about this nonsense, but reports that the home uterus is roomy and comfy.
As someone who birthed two children naturally without the benefit of fancy water, drugs, epidurals or even a doctor the second time around, this yenta can only say: Britney, you’re an idiot. You can paint the delivery room with every name from the Zohar you want and it’s still gonna hurt like a mofo. Save your money for the kid’s therapy fund.

7 thoughts on “Fetus Spears To Suck Kabbalah Water

  1. I love your sense of humor. Thanks for putting that into perspective from a mother’s view. In this case, I agree that Britney’s an idiot. The Kabbalah craze is freaky, they are exploiting our culture.

  2. I mean is this really the spot to talk about this? Just because she’s got some mispelled Hebrew on her neck doesn’t make her a Jew.

  3. Hysterical! You mean it hurts for celebs too??!!

    There’s no such thing as Kabbalah water by the way, but next time round I’m definitely doing the Jacuzzi thing.


  4. … and that Hebrew word tattooed on her neck will help her about as much as having her name tattooed on me will help me.

  5. What a waste of H2O like her singing lessons… she gets a 0 on the talent meter everytime I see and hear her perform…

    What happened to the days of turning on the radio and hearing music… thank you SIRIUS

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