Wish I Was A Roller Derby Queen

I attended by first Savannah Derby Devils bout last week, and I cannot bah-leeve it took me so damn long.

I’m no great fan of team sports (especially having been subjected to El Yenta Man’s vicious swearing at the t.v. this fall as the Georgia Bulldogs continue to fumble their way into a winning season) but I cheered myself hoarse as my homegirls “dropped the bomb on Fayette-nam” in a 98-87 win against the Rogue Roller Girls from North Carolina. There was plenty of of pushing and shoving by Madam Meshuggunah and Dolly Post-Partum, but the leader of the pack this night was for sure Fear Abby, otherwise known as my favorite Methodist, Faith Forward blogger and Savannah Morning News religion editor Dana Clark Felty.

I always knew Girlfriend was cool, but to see my quiet friend who likes to discuss the finer points of theology jam ’round the rink pushing aside tattooed refrigerators with braids? I am in awe. She showed up in character for skirt!‘s “THIS Is What A Feminist Looks Like” bash a coupla weeks back and posed with me for the requisite “mess the horns, you get the mad fuckin’ cow” shot, but if you wanna see her in action, check out the Spotted photos.

Emceeing the event was the “Rabbi of Rock,” Boomer of 106.1, providing the kind of wit from the sidelines that only a crazy-ass Jew with head tattoos could throw out. I’ll have to learn to appreciate the new Guns N’ Roses album just so I can listen to him in the afternoons.

I know you’re thinking, “Yenta, you love to rollerblade. And you have so much unchecked aggression – YOU should become a Derby Devil!”

Well, dahlinks, first off, there’s the hip. And now that I’ve witnessed the violent spectacle of roller derby up close, I have realized something important about myself:

I am a total wuss. Those chicks would make me cry inside of five minutes.

6 thoughts on “Wish I Was A Roller Derby Queen

  1. Ahhh! Outed! 🙂

    Oh well. Mamas, be warned. This is what happens to rural Kentucky girls with nothing to do on the weekends but go to church, feed the chickens and roller skate in the driveway with your bloodthirsty cousins all afternoon.

    Muchas gracias for bringing the fam to the bout and for the kudos. Little Yenta Boy looked like he was ready for his own little referree shirt!

  2. I knew you would like it. Rebel RN, AKA, Franki, is the League nurse and a good friend of mine. She is also a huge Yenta fan. I’m glad you enjoyed it. The last I looked there is a great Web site for the Savannah Derby Devils. I can’t promote them enough – it’s great family fun. Fear Abby is one of my favorite devils and an excellent reporter. And that’s not because she did a story about my son last Hanukkah- Hi Dana.

  3. You’re whole blog is awesome, Roller Girl! Keep it up. I love the way you express yourself–even when you’re kvetching. You’ll get better. We always do. And the bangs rock!
    Also, heard Denis Leary’s wife (he’s the comedian and actor) interviewed about her new book this week on NPR. She says her husband nevr tells her what’s required to wear at events so she’s shown up at a black tie/red carpet event in jeans (he wears the same thing every day no matter what occasion) and wore a cocktail dress and fancy heels to a bar-b-q.

  4. Yay! The friend who used to mock me for working at Skateland has finally seen the “way of the wheel”…
    PS — I too briefly considered joining the (Tucson) Roller Derby, then realized… I like my teeth! Mad ups to all the skater-sistahs out there who are willing to risk dental surgery to kick a** and take names!!

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