‘Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy

…and other misinterpreted lyrics of popular songs can be found here. It’s quite amusing if you’re trying to look busy: For instance, when Bono crooned “She moves in mysterious ways,” some cotton-eared listener thought he said “Shamu the mysterious whale.” Baffling. Better is someone’s interpretation of R.E.M.’s “Losing My Religion”: “Let’s pee in the corner…let’s pee in the spotlight…”

#1I think I’ve got a good one to add: My son was listening to “his iPod” (really a cheapy combo pedometer/transistor radio that came in a bag covered in the logo of some pharmaceutical company that tries to lure doctors like my father-in-law into prescribing their drugs by giving them cheap swag — but shh, anything with headphones that plays music is an iPod, ‘k?) and the kid starts belting out Na na na na hey hey heeeeeey….ECHAD!

(“Echad” is “one” in Hebrew. Good to know the child remembers something from that $15K Jewish preschool education!)

After four or five choruses he yelled “Mom! Mom! It’s a Jewish song!” with all of the zeal of someone who had not yet learned that the people sitting quietly next to you cannot hear the music piping directly into your ears (such as the woman sitting next to me right now listening to her veritable, pink-encased iPod, pumping her arms and moaning “get my sexyback…” WTF is it with that song? Either I’m getting old, or Justin Timberlake deserves a bitchslap.) I mean, he was really grooving to it, waving his arms on the na na na na hey hey hey and pointing his finger up high on ECHAD!

Of course anyone who’s ever been to a high school football game knows the real version of “Kiss Him Goodbye,” but I will continue to let my child believe this American anthem is indeed a Jewish song for the sake of reinforcing his sense of belonging and identity. That, and my own personal amusement. When someone in his freshman year bursts his bubble, I’ll apologize and buy him a real iPod.

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