Farmer D, Et Tu?

It was a sad day for Savannah’s single ladies when hot Jewish agronomist Daron “Farmer D” Joffe relocated to Atlanta a few years ago. Sure, true sycophants can still get their hands dirty in his signature compost blend, but it’s just not the same.

So what a delight to see his cute punim pop up on the VH-1 reality show “What Chilli Wants.” (No, I still don’t have cable, but a friend alerted me that one of my favorite men in a skirt was in the spotlight again.) Pretty Chilli — formerly of the girl group TLC and single mama — is looking for love in unusual places, and I guess it doesn’t get more unusual than a Jewish guy on a tractor.

Chilli wears a ginormous cross and is up front about her faith, so I was looking forward to how this was gonna play out, considering Farmer D’s well-documented connections with the Atlanta Jewish community.

On their first date, Chilli got super googly-eyed at Farmer D’s non-denominational blessing over their meal. On their second date, things seemed to moving along well until she asks him “So, do you go to church here?” He swallows big and says “Um, like, ‘church’ church?”

I was holding my breath to see how he’d announce his Judaism. Would he lay claim to one of Atlanta’s 35 synagogues? Would he brandish his V’Havta necklace from Would he go full-on reality show wack and drop his pants?

His answer made both Chilli and I choke: He got all nervousy and claimed to be an “athiest.” In fact, he seemed to be taking great pains to avoid the Jewish question altogether — calling himself “confused” and “spiritual but not religious.” Clearly, his wishwashiness is a deal breaker for Chilli: (dinner starts around 2:40.)

Daron, dahlin’, you’re breakin’ this Jewish mother’s heart — it’s not for me to judge whether you date Jewish, but don’t be ashamed of who you are. You might’ve gotten further with Chilli if you’d announced your plans to join the yeshiva — she seems to admire adherence to any faith, even if it’s not hers.

*sigh* Such a shanda that nice Lisa Loeb isn’t doing her reality dating show anymore – might be a better shidduch, D.

5 thoughts on “Farmer D, Et Tu?

  1. Hooo boy…when she asked him the “would you convert?” question, you could’ve cut that tension with a knife. I think that THAT would be every Jewish mother’s worst nightmare.

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