A Classic Gets A Rewrite

green eggs and hamSo a few months back we were out to breakfast at this cute diner in town and the waitress asked my son if he wanted bacon with his waffle. He looked up at her with all the sincerity his 5-year-old self could muster and said “No thank you, ma’am. I don’t eat pig.”

And I swear, he has told me on several occasions that he will not ever, EVER! eat green eggs and ham because “Jewish people don’t eat pig and ham is pig. Not even with a fox, mommy. Not even if I was really hungry.”

So you can imagine my husband and I got quite a kick out of this redressed ending to Dr. Suess’s classic, care of Soaraway at Weird Jews:

Will you never see?
They are not KOSHER, So let me be!
I will not eat green eggs and ham.
I will not eat them, Sam-I-am

But I’ll eat green eggs with a biscuit!
Or I will try them with some brisket.
I’ll eat green eggs in a box.
If you serve them with some lox.

And those green eggs are worth a try
Scrambled up in matzo brie!
And in a boat upon the river,
I’ll eat green eggs with chopped liver!

So if you’re a Jewish Dr. Seuss fan,
But troubled by green eggs and ham,
Let your friends in on the scoop:
Green eggs taste best with chicken soup!

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