If you brought comdian Sarah Silverman home to meet your folks, they’d probably wish you’d hook up with some nice, quiet shiksa instead. Girlfriend is foul-mouthed, nasty and prone to bedwetting, but we love her! This interview is G-rated compared to her stand-up routine, which is guaranteed to offend absolutely everybody.

Chabad-Lubavitch rabbis were representin’ at the Cannes Film Festival this week with their mitzvah mobile, allowing Jewish movie moguls to observe Shabbat on the beach.
This was the real thing, not the silly celebrity Judaism that’s been taking over Hollywood, so Demi and Ashton were not in attendance. But we’re wondering, does tefillin go with a Brazilian-cut bikini?

It hasn’t been a good month for Jewish entertainers. First Alan King passes over to the giant Borsht Belt in the sky, now Tony Randall (born Leonard Rosenberg) has joined him. May they both be enjoying the dessert table.
For those of you who used to fake sick and stay home from school to watch TV, you know Randall’s turn as Felix Unger on “The Odd Couple” was the highlight of noontime programming (and not just because it was the only alternative to soap opera schlock. We always identified with Randall’s clean-freak character and could never understand why he didn’t just throw out Oscar’s stuff onto the fire escape.) This Emmy award-winning actor’s reputation as a mensch will surely outlive syndacation.

For all you South Floridian tribe members, Shiri and Sammy Capuano’s site is a must on your bookmark bar. This lovely couple updates Jewish events weekly as well as provides links for Jewish learning, free trips to Israel (you don’t even have to scrub the kitchen) and of course, plenty of politics. Shiri and Sammy are currently in Israel furthuring their Jewish education, but the site stays current.
“Through our e-mails, we try to keep you informed about Jewish events in South Florida and interesting information and articles on timely issues that are affecting us today. We believe that it’s important for the Jewish community to stay connected and work together in preventing assimilation, intermarriage, and divorce…We believe that Jewish education and participation in these events play a key role in helping create a stronger sense of belonging to the South Florida Jewish community and greatly affect Jewish continuity.”
Hey, we’re down with that. Check out tonight’s Jmerica event here, too!

No, this is not yet another article about some moron celebrity gone Kabbalah. Jay-Z’s latest (and possibly last) video-99 Problems is a striking, sparse, black and white tribute to the Marcy projects in Brooklyn where he was raised. He tromps these Brooklyn streets with none other than Rick Rubin (MOT) who produced the song. The video is also interspersed with a school bus with Hebrew writing and a close-up of an Orthodox man. Jay-Z has hinted that he will retire, but resurface as rapper Sean Carter (his real name). Bets are that because contractual obligations prevent him from rapping as Jay-Z on another label, he will retire the name in order to follow longtime friend Lyor Cohen (MOT) who left his current label Def Jam for Warner music.

We’ve been counting down the days for the release of Shrek 2, and not just because the four-year-old Jmerica contingency has been nudging us for months. The first Shrek was peppered with Yiddish witticisms (the name alone is an allusion!) and we can’t wait to see what orthodox screenwriter David Weiss has in store for the ogre this time. It may take a few showings to catch all the references (ogres do have many layers, ya know, like an onion…) but that should please the four year-old in us all.

As if you needed a reason to vote W outta the White House, it turns out the Democratic candidate is one of ours. Digging through the Czech branch of John Kerry’s family tree, a staff member found that Kerry’s grandfather, Fritz Kohn, was born Jewish in the tiny village of Horni Benesov, then called Bennisch, on the Polish border. Fritz became Frederick Kere the Catholic after moving to the United States at the turn of the century.
“The repudiation of Jewish roots was common practice in the late 19th and early 20th century, according to Sarah Stein, an assistant history professor and specialist in modern European Jewish history at the University of Washington. ‘Converting from Judaism often created more business and social opportunities in those days,’ says Stein.”
Well, now it comes full circle, don’t it, Johnny? You’re gonna need every Jewish vote you can get in November…We look forward to seeing you at High Holiday services.

We here at Jmerica love sports, and there’s nothing that makes us cheer louder than Jewish athletes kicking ass. Undefeated welterweight boxer Dmitriy “The Star of David” Salita is poised to take his place on the list of “Jewish People We Root For” next to Sasha Cohen and Jay Fiedler.

Gene Simmons reportedly has used that famous tongue to do more than wow the ladies: He is quoted by Fox News as making nasty, anti-Islamic remarks on Melbourne, Australia’s 3AW radio last Thursday. A sample:
“This is a vile culture and if you think for a second that it’s willing to just live in the sands of God’s armpit, you’ve got another thing coming…They want to come and live right where you live and they think that you’re evil”
Also:
“You can send your dog to school to learn tricks, sit, beg, do all that stuff