Who’s Hot? Your Mom

rachel weiszI’ve been told that when I clean up real nice, dab a bit of make-up on and slide into a pair of non-orthopedic platforms, I fall into the category of “hot mom.” At least that’s what a group of shirtless teenage boys near the high school confided to me yesterday. Okay fine, they were migrant workers on their lunch break. And they spoke mostly with hand gestures. And at least one of them had no teeth but you know what I just turned 35 and I’ll take what I can get thank you very much —

Ahem. Anyway, moments like these are important to mothers, because for all of its fulfilling, magical moments, motherhood is not sexy. Sure, El Yenta Man finds oatmeal-encrusted hair and assembly-line lunch-making skills irresistible, but he has no choice.

Yes, it’s superficial and immature, even a little icky, but sometimes getting a up-down-up from a handsome stranger makes my day (as long as he doesn’t follow me to my minivan.) And maybe I’m clinging to my youth like a punk rock Mrs. Haversham in her disintegrating wedding dress, but it seems there are plenty of other moms out there who enjoy being validated in their hotness. Except while I’m happy with an occasional wink and nod from the dreadlocked babe at the health food store, some mamas want to shake their skinny tucheses on reality TV.

The Forward reported Friday on a string of auditions being held for “Hottest Mom in America,” with a special casting call in Miami specifically for Jewish mothers.

One of the Yenta’s favorite Jewish mothers, Meredith Jacobs of modernjewishmom.com, was interviewed for the article, taking a mature, modest approach to the whole skanky deal:

“I think it’s good that moms take care of themselves, that they want to be fit and look attractive, but I’m uncomfortable with the words ‘hot’ and ‘mom’ being put together. The implication of ‘hot’ is different than ‘beautiful’: ‘Beautiful’ can denote an inner beauty; ‘hot’ is somewhat tawdry.”

And even though she’d never do it, MJM admits that if someone told her she should enter, she’d be flattered. Not insulted, flattered. See? Even the Jewish mothers who know their Shabbos rules and can cook a mean cholent know the power of a tawdry compliment. (I’ve never seen MJM, but her online personality is gorgeous.)

A shimmy and a shake to the “enormously pregnant” Jewesses With Attitude for the tip (Pregnant women: always hot, yo.)

Photo of smokin’ Jewish mommy Rachel Weisz via Canmag.

3 thoughts on “Who’s Hot? Your Mom

  1. I am from a little town in the west and want to go to college one day as soon as i get the money. Right now I’m just hanging out and wishing I wasnt so clueless all the time… nothing but cattle here and the kind of meat I want I cant seem to get… sweet blog though!

  2. Hey… It looks like there’s a problem with the layout of the page. For some reason the text block is running into the edge. I don’t know if it’s just me or are others reporting the same thing? Just wanted to let you know in case you’ve been updating the site. Thanks!

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