What Do Jews Do On Xmas Eve?

Well, it depends.

jmericaIf you’re cool, live within a 100-mile radius of Miami and can party with the big kids (i.e., you have an alcohol tolerance of more than one vodka tonic before you need to find a nice couch to take a nap on), you go to Jmerica’s annual The Eve Party.

If you’re a guilt-drunk Jewish mother in your 30’s, you spend the evening babysitting at the church whose members entertained your children during Yom Kippur services. Then you go to your goyish friend’s house and accept the fact that in spite of your best efforts to kill your children’s imaginative take on why Jewish children still deserve presents on Christmas, Santa will not die.

Or, if you don’t fit into either of those categories, maybe you’ll be:

*Stealing baby Jesusi from the neighborhood creches and replacing them with garden gnomes

*Marching up and down the street singing “Maoz Tzur” and banging pots and pans

*Waiting patiently by the fireplace with a plate of rugelach and a glass of Manischewitz

Hmm? Let me know.

4 thoughts on “What Do Jews Do On Xmas Eve?

  1. My ‘gentile’ (oh, how I loathe that word; so why don’t I just use the ‘G word’?)neighbors spent Christmas eve blasting the hood with fire works, so I spent ‘the Eve’ putting up with the noise.

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