It’s customary in our religion to leave small rocks on a tombstone when we visit the ancestors, but hundreds of single women have left something else at a rabbi’s tomb in northern Israel: Their undies.

According to one of the more arcane superstitions of our faith, unmarried Jews who visit the grave of Rabbi Yenothan Ben Uziel will meet their beshert and marry within the year.

Rabbi Israel Deri, who is in charge of protecting holy sites in the north, told Ma’ariv that women’s prayers will go unanswered and said, “Having consulted with the chief rabbis, I can say with certainty that not only are these women guilty of a profanity but they will also never gain benediction.”

This story begs so many questions: Do these girls’ mothers knew they are leaving their panties around a graveyard? Have they not filled out a free Jmerica profile? How does one choose between the “Tuesday” cotton hipsters and the lace thong? Is Rabbi Uziel smiling?

*These “A Great Miracle Happened Here” panties don’t seem to be available anymore at JewishFashionConspiracy.com, but they have other really inappropriate ones, just in case you feel like visiting the cemetery tonight.

Apologies for the slow posting this week; it’s one of those times when my duties as a Jewish wife and mother mean more than combing down my kids’ cowlicks and kvetching about towels on the floor (not that tending to severe bedhead isn’t a full-time job in itself.)

Besides teaching my son’s kindergarten class the token Chanukah song for the year (20 years in early childhood education and the teacher can’t be bothered to learn one freakin’ song about dreidels? Shanda!), I need to get my heinie in the kitchen and start cooking up a big pot of Matzoh Ball Medicine, heavy on the schmaltz:

My dear husband (let’s call him El Yenta Man; he’ll like that) is scheduled for reconstructive surgery of his anterior cruciate ligament early tomorrow morning. That’s fancy doctor-speak for El Yenta Man is gettin’ his messed-up knee fixed.

I depend on El Yenta Man to have strong legs; they come in useful for carrying groceries, and should we ever need to be evacuated from one side of a river to the other, he’ll need them for swimming. Not to mention that they’re very fine to look at. So I’m taking the rest of the week off to drive him to the hospital and sit in the waiting room while the orthopedic surgeon replaces his old, stretchy ACL with a new, strong one (well, new to him, anyway. God bless the cadaver from whom it was culled.)

That’s all I’m going to be doing: sitting. Maybe finish reading “The Modern Jewish Girls Guide to Guilt,” but mostly sitting. And praying, for sure. I mean, it’s not open heart surgery or anything, but when a loved one goes under general anesthesia, it can’t hurt to keep a spiritual line open, just in case. So I’m shutting down the computer, ’cause I can’t hold that kind of open, nurturing space in my mind if I’m distracted by my favorite celebrity fashion disaster blog or the latest Chanukah doll.

Besides, the hospital doesn’t have WiFi.

At last count, I’ve used Craigslist to sell a crib, a VW van, a dishwasher and a rusted-out old stove. I’ve bought toys and books, found jobs and places to live, enjoyed the “Best of” list immensely. I’ve met some super kind people. But I have never, ever used it for its “hook-up” properties, although apparently, that’s what it’s famous for. I mean, I’ll go to a stranger’s house to buy a dog-eared, vintage 70’s edition of “The Joy of Sex” to give as a gag gift to my husband, but beyond that, I can’t imagine.

They’ve recently added a bajillion more towns, so even if you’re nowhere near its Bay Area birthplace or any other major city, you too can enjoy the modern miracle of posting anything you want to sell/buy/meet for midnight nookie.

I’m telling you this because not only is “Craig” in Craigslist.com Jewish (along with being brilliant and humble), he says Leonard Cohen is his rabbi. And even though he’s an eligible bachelor, he’s never used his list for a sordid rendez-vous, either.

Check out the whole interview with Craig Newmark at SomethingJewishUK!